As long as the sun shines
by shiny kittens
Summary: Being hit by a car isn't funny. Being reborn isn't funny either. And it's especially fucked up when you get reborn in a world full of ninjas and death. SI. (Yup I jumped up on the SI train.)
1. Chapter 1

My mother named me Taiyo, after the sun. The funny thing was, it wasn't the first time I'd been named nor was it the first time I'd been born.

Let me tell you, being born is _not_ funny.

I don't remember much from my first life. I remember having a family and that I loved them, but I couldn't remember their names or faces. I remember that I loved to write and read, that I could spent hours in my room drawing or daydreaming and that I loved to watch anime.

I had been a dreamer. And that dreaming was it that cost me my life.

The car came out of nowhere (or was I too caught up in my own world to notice?)

Well, it hit me and sent me flying thru the air. I didn't feel any pain when I hit the ground.

I remember my blood pooling around me and that I was admiring the way it contrasted with the asphalt. Red and gray.

The first time I opened my eyes, I was confused. Everything was fuzzy, the colors were too bright and I felt _weird._ The noises around me were too loud and sharp and the strangest thing. I was small.

I wasn't the biggest person before, being only sixteen, but I shouldn't be small enough to be _carried._

So in all the confusion and brightness I did the only rational thing, I wailed.

And nearly choked on my own spit. I sounded like an infant!

_Okay, this is not normal!_ I was wrapped in a pink blanket and handed to a woman. (At least I thought it was a woman. Stupid baby vision!) _Huh, I'm a baby?_ Yeah, I surprised myself with that thought.

I caught on pretty quickly. I was a baby again, but the Hows? And Whys? I had no idea about.

The women cooed at me in a language I couldn't understand. I was even more confused now.

_Where_ was I?

Yeah, this question would bite me in the ass later.

I'm a bit embarrassed to say that it took me three years to figure out that I wasn't in my universe anymore. Before that I thought I was somewhere in ancient Japan. The language was a bitch to learn but I was always good at learning languages and the fact that I was a baby helped.

My parents were both civilians, my father had a weapons shop and my mother was a housewife.

Of course I heard the terms "Ninja" and "Shinobi" sometimes but never really thought anything about it.

I didn't get to see the outside much, me being a frail little thing and all. I was only allowed to go in the backyard and that was it.

How I found out? That's an interesting story.

Well, you see, my father worked at the weapons shop all day and my mother had to visit a sick relative. I was a pretty independent child. I learned how to walk and talk as soon as possible and could easily be left alone for short periods of time ( like when kaa-chan went groceries shopping) But my mother would be gone for the entire day so she hired a genin team to babysit me.

"Bye, Taiyo-chan. Kaa-chan will be back in the evening. Be nice to your babysitters." I smiled up at my mother. She was a pretty women, with chocolate brown hair and green eyes. "I'm always nice kaa-chan!" I chirped in my high pitched voice. "I know sweetheart." she chuckled and ruffled my short hair. Then she left. And three kids stepped in. I blinked.

"Oh, my! Taiyo-chan you're so cute!" the girl giggled. She had green hair, tied up in two high pigtails.

The girl suddenly grabbed me, held me up and poked my cheek. "Ah, so cuuuteee!"

"Be careful Sasame, you don't want to scare our client." one of the boys said. He had dark brown hair and white eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous, Tahiko. I'm not scaring her." I stared at the girl, or well at her forehead. Because there was a headband with a metal plate on the front and an agonizingly familiar symbol.

_Maybe they're just cosplaying? _The third boy had two fang-like shapes on his cheeks.

I reached out and touched the girls forehead protector.

"What's that?" I asked, hoping she would explain that it was just from an anime show.

"Huh?" The girls brown eyes looked up, then she smiled. "That's my hitai-ate! It shows that I'm a ninja of the leaf village!"

I swallowed. _Shit._

Suddenly the ball of fluff on the third boy's shoulder, an Inuzuka, decided to bark. My blood froze.

_Dog. It's a dog. Oh my god dog! Dog! _I cried out and started squirming in the girls grip.

And of course me being a toddler with absolute no control over my feelings, started crying like the little girl I was. "What's wrong, Tai-chan? Please stop crying!" The green haired girl cradled me against her chest. "I think she's afraid of the dog." The boy with the white eyes said.

"Ah? Don't worry Tai-chan. Kumo is a good dog. He won't do anything to you I swear!" It was the first time the Inuzuka boy spoke.

I buried my face in the girls brown tank-top and whimpered. I was freaking terrified of dogs!

The girl set me on the ground and crouched next to me. "Look he's just a puppy." she smiled.

The boy set his ninken down in front of me. _Kumo, I can see where that name comes from. _The pup was just a ball of white fluff. He wiggled his little tail at me. I just sniffled.

"You wanna pet him?" the boy grinned. My eyes widened. _Is he out of his mind?! That thing could easily kill me! _

I shook my head so hard I felt a bit dizzy. "Ne, Tai-chan. We didn't introduce ourselves, did we?" The girl grinned, scratching her cheek.

"Well, I'm Sasame. He's Tahiko and dog boy is Hige." "Oi! Who're you callin dog boy!" Sasame just rolled her eyes.

Well, that's the story how I found out that I was now part of the Naruto-verse. Great.

Sasame, Tahiko and Hige came more often to babysit me after that. I think it's pretty funny that my mom extra hired a tracker team to babysit me. As if I would run away.

It was Tahiko, by the way, that told me _when_ I was. He said something about his little cousins Hinata and Neji being my age. So I was part of the rookie nine generation. The generation where the most fucked up shit happens. Oh, _joy. _


	2. Chapter 2

When I became four my mother deemed me old enough to go outside, but only with supervision. That means it was either her, Sasa-nee or Tahiko-nii. She somehow didn't trust Hige-nii to take care of her baby on his own.

Those three came by sometimes ( most of the time as a team) to visit me.

This time they had taken me to the training grounds were they would spar or throw shuriken or sometimes just sit on the grass and talk. Well, Sasame would talk.

I loved to watch them train. It was interesting and exciting.

Tahiko used mostly his familys technique and so did Hige. Sasame, I found out, was good with weapons and genjutsu.

Right now they were throwing shuriken and kunai at a poor wooden target.

Kumo was watching over me. I didn't mind Kumo that much anymore. I knew he wouldn't do anything to me and once I was even brave enough to pet him, but just once.

"Hey, squirt! You wanna try too?" the green haired girls shout tore me out of my thoughts.

"What? You can't give her a shuriken she'll cut herself!" Hige said. "Don't worry she'll get the wooden ones." I stood up and slowly made my way over to Sasa-nee.

_Great, she wants to teach me how to kill. _My stomach churned at that thought.  
Shuriken weren't made to kill, they were often used as a distraction or to wound, but the _could_ kill and that was all I could think about while holding the wooden weapon in shaking hands.

"Here, you hold it like this." Sasa-nee adjusted my little fingers. "And you throw it like that." She flicked her wrist and sent her own metal shuriken straight in the target. Bulls-eye.

I blinked. _Okay... you can do this Taiyo... just like Sasa-nee._ A flick of the wrist and my shuriken flew thru the air. Then it wobbled and embedded itself in the dirt in front of the target.

I hung my head. It was just like in my first life. I would try something and would fail miserably at it, then I would get disappointed and wouldn't try it again. It had always been like that.

"Wow, that's pretty far for your first try." Tahiko said. I blinked. _What?_

"And she can already throw a shuriken! My little Tai-chan is growing up!" the green haired girl whisked away some fake tears.

Hige deadpanned and so did I. "You know that she isn't your daughter, right?" the boy said.

Sasme happily ignored him and turned to me. "Right, Tai-chan! Try again. I bet this time you'll hit it!" I nodded and took the wooden shuriken. I threw it and with a _twack_ it hit the target. Far from bulls-eye, but it hit nonetheless.

"I hit it!" I shouted happily. _If it had been a human he would now have a shuriken in his leg._

I paled at the thought. I would've injured someone. It scared me.

Not the fact that I knew how to injure someone, in my former life I had known how to kill someone, but the fact that I was capable of doing so. I was _capable _of hurting someone. Just with a flick of the wrist. It was scary.

"Tai-chan, are you okay? You are so pale." Sasa-nee looked worried.

"I, uh... yeah. My my belly just hurts a little." I mumbled. "Oh, no! Don't tell me you're going to be sick! Your birthday is next week and we won't be here after that."

_Huh? My birthday? Has it already been a year? And what does she mean, they won't be here?_

"You won't be here?" "Yeah, you know the chunin exams are coming up. At the end of next week we'll head for Kiri." _The bloody mist? Oh, dear._

"That means you all are gonna be chunin when you come back?" I grinned at them.

"You can bet on it!" Hige pumped his fist in the air and Kumo barked excitedly.

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart." my mother kissed me on the forehead and smiled softly at me. My father handed me my present. "It is from both of us." It was a kimono. It was the same green as my eyes and had a dark blue flower pattern. I smiled. _Wow, that must have been expensive._

"Can I wear it today?" "Of course. Everything you want my little princess." my father ruffled my hair.

"Tai-chan! Happy Birthday!" Sasame picked me up and twirled me around. I laughed with her.

"Okay, now sit down and close your eyes." I raised an eyebrow at that, but obeyed.

I could feel something weird. "Are you doing something to my hair?" "Okay! Open your eyes Tai-chan." I blinked my eyes open. Sasa-nee was holding a mirror in front of me and grinned.

"Now you look just as cool as me!" She had tied my hair up in two pigtails, just like hers and she had used two black ribbons, just like hers. "Don't tell me you want to make her a mini clone of yourself, believe me Sasa one of you is enough." Hige grinned.

I couldn't help but giggle. "Oh, Taiyo-chan you look adorable." my mother smiled happily.

_I'm more of a mini clone of kaa-chan than anyone. _Really we had the same hair and eyes and I'm sure when I get older I will look just like her.

The first time I had looked in the mirror had been quite a shock. Despite knowing that I wasn't in my body anymore I had somehow still expected to see a teenager with unruly mud-brown hair, dark brown eyes and glasses. Instead a little girl had been looking at me with chocolate brown hair and green eyes.

I opened the gifts from Hige and Tahiko. Tahiko had gotten me a set of kunai and shuriken. I noticed my parents frown at that. Hige had gotten me a book. I looked at the title and my eyes widened. _You've gotta be fucking kidding me. _The tale of the utterly gutsy shinobi. I couldn't believe it. "I hope you didn't get her any other of Jiraya-samas books. And I really hope you aren't reading one of those yourself, are you?" My mothers face was only inches from Higes. The boy gulped.

"Ah, n-no Misaki-san. I-I would never read such s-smut." I smirked. He's totally reading it.

After that my mother was talking to Sasa-nee and Hige-nii talked to my father about weapons.

I looked around and saw Tahiko-nii sitting on the porch by himself, so I decided to strode over to him.

"Hey, Tahiko-nii." I said softly. I had a very quiet voice, just like in my first life. Some things never change.

"Hey, are you enjoying your birthday?" he asked. I nodded. "Yes, I am." Comfortable silence.

It was always like this with Tahiko-nii. With Sasa-nee and Hige-nii, I could laugh and play, but when I needed some quiet I would go to Tahiko-nii.

He was looking at the others talking, no he was looking at _someone_ in the group. I smiled.

"You like her." He blinked. "What?"

"Sasa-nee, you like her, don't you?" The boy sighed and lifted his face to the sky, a small smile on his lips. "Maybe I do."

I stormed thru the village. _Gotta reach the gate before they leave!_

I was nearly at the village gate. There was a group of sixteen people, four adults and twelve children turning to leave. _No, no, no, no, no! I haven't said goodbye! _

I had to scream for them. Shit. I hated screaming. "Tahiko-nii! Sasa-nee! Hige-nii!"

Ugh, great now my throat was hurting. "Tai-chan!" Sasame crouched down in front of me. "Did you run all the way here?" I nodded, panting. "I've... got... I've got... something... to give you."

I took the packages out of the little bag I was carrying. "What is it?" Hige-nii asked.

"They're new kunai and shuriken. Tou-chan made them for you." I chirped after I caught my breath.

"We can't accept that." Tahiko-nii said. "Yes, you can!" I said handing each of them one package.

Then I hugged each of them around the waist and wished them good luck. "You three are ready to go then?" Mei-sensei asked. She was a tall woman with dark hair and dark eyes. She was from the Uchiha clan.

I watched them leave and waved after the three pre-teens.

Little did I know that only two of them would return.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days passed, with me doing nothing but moping around. It was sooooo boring without the others!

As sadly as it sounds I didn't have any other friends except for the three Genin. Unfortunately

kaa-chan decided I would have to make some friends and dragged me off to the playground.

The playground was a nice little clearing with some bushes and smaller trees surrounding it. There was a swing set and a sandbox where three girls sat and baked sand-pie.

Surprisingly I recognized one of them as Sakuras infamous bully and her pawns.

There were also the three boys who bullied Hinata once.

_Yep, definitely not going near them._

I also saw a boy watching some ants crawl up a tree, next to him sat a boy with a puppy who was rambling on about something. The only indication that the other one was even listening to him were his barely visible nods here and there.

Wait, a, probably, Aburame and a Inuzuka and their my age?

_Shino and Kiba? Huh, I didn't know they were friends before they got assigned to their team._

Now curious I looked around if I could see someone else I knew and spotted a cloud-watching Shikamaru not far from here.

Chouji wasn't with him.

_Maybe they aren't friends yet?_

I walked around a bit, wondering if I would meet someone else here, when I stopped dead in my tracks.

There, sitting under the low branches of a bush, was the main character of the show.

Naruto watched the other kids run around.

Sadness and envy in his eyes. Suddenly, his head snapped around and he stared at me with those cornflower-blue eyes.

He stood up and came over to me. My eyes widen.

_Holy, shit he's gonna talk to me!_

"What're you staring at, pigtails?" he growled, pulling at one of said pigtails.

I blinked at him. "Um, what's your name?"

"What do you care?" he started circling me and pulled _again_ at my hair.

"What the hell is your problem?!"

Is what I would have said if I had the courage to do so. Instead I just looked at the ground and settled for a miserable "Ow."

"What, you're gonna cry, Pigtails?"

Am I getting bullied? By _Naruto _of all people?

"You shouldn't pull a woman's hair, they get pissed at that."

I looked up at the voice. And there he stood, Shikamaru, in all his lazy glory.

"And? What about it, Lazy-ass?"

"Well, a pissed woman is a scary woman." The boy drawled.

"Why don't you shut up and go?!" Naruto snarled.

"The other way around would be better, because there are two of us and one of you. And even if she looks pretty small I think the girl can still kick you were the sun never shines."

The blonde narrowed his eyes, but left.

"... Troublesome." Shikamaru mumbled.

"Ah,.. thank you." I said a bit embarrassed.

I mean I needed to be saved from being bullied by a five year old, by _another_ five year old.

"Uh... I'm Taiyo."

"Shikamaru."

I smiled at him. "Well, thank you again, Shikamaru."

"Nothing to thank me for. I was just watching the clouds over there and the baka was being pretty loud so..."

"Why are you watching the clouds?" I asked.

He just shrugged. "It's calming."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Nope."

* * *

I had talked this thru with my parents. I would become a ninja. They, of course, weren't happy and had asked why. The reason I had told them, that I wanted to protect my precious people, was true, just not the entire truth.

The reason why I wanted to become a ninja was simple: As a civilian I wouldn't stand a chance when Orochimaru, Pein and Madara came around. I would be dead, again.

And as selfish as that may sound, I didn't want to die again.

My parents had accepted that reason, if not happily. I would enroll in the academy the next year.

Right now I was sitting in the backyard after running laps, throwing some kunai and shuriken and running some more. Ugh.

Kaa-chan said she was going to teach me some basic katas too.  
She had been an academy student, but she dropped out after two years seeing as she wasn't suited for the ninja live and all the bloodshed it would bring.

But back to here and now. I was trying to find my chakra.

I knew that I wouldn't have much, but I think it would be enough for some basic chakra control exercises.

But first I needed to find it.

The scroll on chakra my mother had brought me said that you weren't able to feel your chakra until you found it. Once found you would be never able to loose this feeling.

So I closed my eyes and concentrated, trying to feel anything.

There was a strange burning sensation.

I focused on that sensation and suddenly I could feel it.

A very weird burning in my belly.

I looked at the scroll, where the feeling was described as warm and calming.

_Yeah, warm and calming, my ass. Feels like having heartburn._

Next would be directing the chakra to my hands and make them glow.

Okey-dokey.

…

…

…

What is this shit?!

Pulling on your chakra is like pulling on a rubber band. It always flips back into its original form, hitting your fingers, painfully.

And when the chakra flipped back it was _very _painful. It was like someone stabbing you with a burning hot dagger.

After what seemed like an eternity of painful jabs, I could finally direct the chakra down my arms and make my hands glow.

I stared at my hands in shock. They were an angry red and blistering. I screamed at the scorching pain that shot thru my body. I immediately cut the chakra flow and looked at my arms.

Vein-like burns snaked up my arms and disappeared in the sleeves of my shirt.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I moved my arms and lifted my shirt.

What I saw made me scream again.

A perfectly round burn sat at my stomach.

Little black dots were blinking before my eyes.

The dots multiplied until I was overwhelmed by darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

I was in a daze and couldn't even open my eyes completely.

"... happened?" that was the voice of my father.

"She passed out from pain. She burned her arms with chakra." My mother.

"I knew that this ninja business is not good for her!"

"You approved of it!" Kaa-chan snapped.

"Just because you said it was a good idea so she could protect herself and bring pride to the village!" my father shouted back.

"you know haow dangerous the world can be! She needs to know how to defend herself!"

"Yeah, but this isn't why you want her to become a ninja, right? It's because you failed the academy and want her to live your stupid, shattered dream!"

"That isn't true and you know it! She came to me and told me she wanted to be a kunoichi!"

I flinched at the harsh voices of my parents.

Why were they arguing? They weren't supposed to argue because of me!

"Yes, but who knows in what way you influenced her!"

"Maybe you would know more about your daughter if you were home for once!"

I heard my father sigh in annoyance.

"Well, somebody needs to bring money home, after all you gambled most of it away!"

"Oh, now I was the one who was making debts?! Who's sitting in that stupid bar at the weekends and drinking our earnings away?!"

"You know what?! I've got enough! I'm leaving!"

I heard a door slam and shortly after something shatter.

It sounded like my mother had thrown a plate at the door.

"I hope you drown in your sake!" the woman screamed after Tou-san.

I stared at the ceiling of my room, dumbfounded.

When did we start having financial problems?

And why hadn't I noticed the gap that had grown between my parents?

Was I so blinded by my own ambitions, by pictures of the future that I hadn't noticed that my family was far from idyllic?

...

...

...

I stared at my arms.

The skin was still red, but the pain I had felt the first day had subsided.

Now they were numb. I could barely feel them.

The skin was broken and peeled off at some places.

It looked like crumpled paper and teh worst thing?

It would stay that way.

So I sat there, starring, and the only thing I could think of was how _ugly_ it was.

Ugly. A word that had followed me from my last live, a quality I had hoped to shed, but it had come back to haunt me again.

Kaa-chan came into my room, carrying bandages she carefully wrapped around my arms.

"I talked to Hideki-sensei after he examined the damage. He said that your allergic to chakra... I know this is hard, but it seems that you're unable to become ninja-"

"No." I interrupted her firmly. "I _will_ become a ninja. No matter what."

Then I stood up and pulled on my light green top and black pants.

"Where are you going?" my mother asked worriedly.

"Training." I said curtly.

I took my training weapons with me and headed to the training grounds.

I dropped the shuriken four times before I finally got a good hold on them.

It was very strange, i couldn't feel the throwing star in my hands and my fingers seemed awkward and uncontrollable.

My throwing was horrible. I hit none of the targets.

I tried again, and again, and again.

_Why is this so hard?! It's like I've never held a weapon before!_

I felt tears of frustration in the corner of my eyes.

My grip on the shuriken was wrong, hte same with kunai and senbon.

I couldn't get a hold of them because I had lost all feeling in my hands.

My fingers were incredibly clumsy and awkward.

In a fit of rage I started punching the training log as hrad as I could.

_Why is it so hard?! Weaponry was the only thing I was good at! Why do you have to take it away from me?!_

I stopped when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

With tearfilled eyes i turned around too look at a dark haired boy who was around my age.

"You're bleeding." he said.

I blinked the tears away to look at my hands.

The bandages were stained red and my knuckles were raw and bleeding heavily.

I didn't feel it.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern furrowing his brow.

"I...Y-yeah...I- i don't really feel it..." i murmured, not looking at him.

"Were you training or just trying to hurt yourself?" he asked putting his hands on his hips like a stern mother.

"Uh... t-training."

He clicked his tounge and said. "Doesn't look like it. Come on my home's not far from here. I'll get you some new bandages."

The boy helped me pick up my weapons and then led me off the training field.

"I'm Sasuke, by the way. What's your name?"

My eyes widened at that.

_Wait. Hold on. What?! But he's so nice and Sasuke is a prick!_

After my inicial shock I stated my name and followed him towards the Uchiha-compound.

I had never been in this part of the village before and the heavy wooden gate and large stone wall seemed quite imposing.

Sasuke was pointing out some landmarks and greeting people here and there.

It saddened me knowing that all those people were going to die and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Here we are." Sasuke said once we reached his house.

"Kaa-chan, i brought a friend with me!" he called and I flushed a bit as he called me his friend.

We had just met after all.

A pretty woman with black hair that had a blue tint to them, stepped out of what I assumed was the kitchen smiling at us.

I recognized her immediately as Mikoto Uchiha.

I greeted her politely and intoduced myself.

We talked a bit, but there was something strange in the way Mikoto was looking at me.

"Oh, right! The bandages!" Sasuke suddenly said and went into another room to fetch said items.

An awkward silence remained and the woman was still eyeing me in that strange way, like she knew something I didn't.

"I know who you are." she said with a smile, "Or better I know _what_ you are."

I opened my mouth to ask what she meant, but Sasuke came back withe the bandages.

"Sasuke-kun, why don't you let kaa-chan take care of this and get something to drink for you and your new friend."

The boy nodded and dashed off into the kitchen.

I gulped when she guided me to a comfortable looking couch and we sat down on it.

"W-what did you mean, you know what I am?" I asked nervously.

She loosened the bandages whitout looking at them, instead she studied me carefully.

"You'te like me." she stated simply. "This isn't the first time you have lived, right?"

I stared at her.

"I-I, yes... but, _How?_"

_How did she know?_

"You are pretty good at pretending to be a child. I assume you were still very young when you died? But you recognized me when you saw me, but we've never met before. You have to watch out for that, more experienced ninja will be suspicious when they notice that."

I nodded still wide-eyed at the revelation that she was just like me.

"Did you change things?" i asked her, my stomach churning at the thought that she changed the future so much that certain things wouldn't happen.

She shook her head. "Not much. I'm not a kunoichi. I was in the military in my first life, didn't wnatto take the same path here, I'm also not very good with chakra. Ah, one thing changed, allthough I'm not entirely sure as to why that is. i had nothing to do with it. maybe it was just my mere existence? You know, the butterfly effect?"

I nodded.

"Quiet little thing, aren't you? Well, Naruto Uzumaki knows about his heritage and his little friend. I'm not entirely sure if that's a good thing, after all he's the main character. I don't know if it changed him much or not since I don't have any interaction with the boy. Oh, and Sasuke isn't as arrogant, i made sure of that. i just hope that itachi isn't going to be as cruel to him as he was in the show when the night of the massacre arrives, because you know, I found it allways a bit disturbing that he used the Tsukuyomi on him, twice. "

I stared at her.

"You mean. You're not going to stop the massacre? But... But they're your family! Your sons!"

"Taiyo-chan, the story is allready written. Who am I to change it?"

"Well, I will change it!" I said.

"Then I wish you good luck in trying it." she said smiling at me in a gentle way.

Mikoto looked at my arms and winced in sympathy.

"Chakra allergy?" she asked.

I blinked and nodded.

She gently re-wrapped my arms, then she lifted her shirt to show me a circular scar on her abdomen.

"Me too. I think it has something to do with being reborn and having lived in a chakra-free environment before."

Sasuke took that moment to return with a tray with orange juice and some cookies.

"I brought you some too, kaa-chan!" he said happily and set the tray down on a small table.

"Ah, you're agood boy, Sasuke." his mother smiled and ruffled his hair.

He beamed at her and then looked at me couriously.

"Are you feeling better, Taiyo-chan?"

I nodded. "Yes, thank you."

"Hey! You're going to be a ninja, right? Maybe we could train together?!"

I smiled at him. "That would be nice!"

**So, yeah...**

**Um, sorry for the long hiatus?**

**I deleted chapter 4, 5 and 6**

**and rewrote chapter 4.**

**I really didn't like this chapter and I actually lost the plot i had**

**planned with the whole clan-thingy... uhm woops?**

**So I rewrote it with her being allergic to chakra and finding out that Mikoto is**

**a reincarnation too, who decided the best thing to do would be to do nothing and**

**have the story play out as it's supposed to.**

**The thing with Naruto is importand and will be later explained.**

**Hope you're not too mad at me**

**or confused with what's going on.**

**The thing with the three genins will play out as it did before,**

**so don't be surprised if it's nearly the same as before.**

**Bye,**

**shiny**


	5. Chapter 5

Training with Sasuke was _hard._

Turns out the stuff I had been doing was laughable to a ninja.

Sasuke actually snorted when I told him my training regimen.

The brat.

But, seriously the kid was a workaholic and I found out pretty quickly that from strength, to speed, to stamina.

I lacked everything.

I also found out that my condition was way more serious than I had thought.

It had been during a training session.

We just finished a jog around the village (yes, the _entire _village! Like I said Sasuke's crazy.) when we started sparring in the backyard of the Uchiha residence.

My movements were already sluggish from exhaustion and Sasuke was fast and way better at taijutsu than I was.

A knee to the stomach dubbled me over and send me to my knees with a cough.

"Ah! Sorry, Taiyo-chan! Did I hurt you?" Sasuke asked a bit panicked.

I just waved him off with a hand and tried to catch my breath.

I stood up again and swayed a bit in place before I got back in the basic academy stance and rushed forward.

He caught my fist easily and deflected my left knee that came up to kick him.

A slight nudge at my right leg was all it took to send me crashing to the ground again.

I stubbornly got up again.

"I think we should stop, you look exhausted."

I shook my head, to occupied getting air into my burning lungs to answer verbally.

My muscles ached and my hands shook as I brought them up in front of me.

I rushed forward again, but the boy dodged my punch by side stepping me.

I twirled in place, sending a heel towards his face, which he ducked.

He then came up in my guard and I barely blocked the jab aimed at my liver.

Unbalanced as I was I stumbled backwards and just so managed to not land on my ass.

That was when my head began to hurt and my vision started to swim.

I made a choking noise and fell to my knees.

I tried to breath but I couldn't, it was like my windpipe was locked up.

I felt chakra rush thru my veins and ground my teeth together in agony.

Normally my chakra was compressed into a tight little ball in my stomach were my hara was giving me that constant heartburn feeling, I had slowly gotten used to, but somehow it had started flowing thru my body without my bidding and it _hurt_.

I clenched my eyes shut and tried to push it back, but it wouldn't work.

I heard the thumping of feet and knew that Sasuke had run back to the house probably to get his mother.

With another mental shove I pushed the chakra going haywire in my body back into my stomach.

Panting heavily, I let myself fall back into the soft grass.

Watching the clouds swimming in the vast blue sea that was the sky, I slowly relaxed.

"Taiyo-chan! Is everything okay?! You were shaking and your chakra was whirling around you!"

Sasuke cried skidding to a halt next to me.

Mikoto followed at a slower pace.

"What happened?" I asked her, my voice shaking.

The woman crouched and gently laid a cool hand on my brow.

"It seems that you have to give up on being a ninja. You see your muscles convert oxygen into energy, but if you drive your body beyond exhaustion your body will naturally try to convert your chakra into energy to ease the stress put on your body, but in your case this leads to you going into a state similar to an anaphylactic shock."

I stared at her.

Then I narrowed my eyes in stubborness.

"No, I _will _be a kunoichi!"

"That's right, Taiyo-chan!" Sasuke grinned pumping his fist.

I smiled back and slowly sat up.

Sasuke was a surprisingly nice child.

I'd expected him to be arrogant and make our training into some kind of competition, but he didn't.

He tried to genuinely help me and did everything he could to do so.

I wasn't entirely sure if Sasuke had been like this before the massacre or if it was Mikoto's doing.

Either way I could just hope that he would stay that way when the massacre came around.

And I was sure it would come, since Mikoto would do nothing to stop it and I didn't dellusion myself into thinking I could.

…

…

…

Still exhausted from the earlier ordeal I stumbled up the steps to Shika's favorite cloud-viewing spot.

Choji and Shikamaru were already there chatting.

"Hey, guys." I said and plopped down next to Choji, who offered me a chip in greeting.

Shika gave me a nod and laid back to watch the clouds float overhead.

I did the same, lying down and starring up at the sun.

"How was your training, apart from exhausting?" Choji asked.

"Okay, I guess... I had an allergic reaction to my chakra."

The boys both looked at me in worry.

"Are you okay?" Choji asked.

I nodded.

"It seems I get a reaction similar to an anaphylactic shock whenever I exhaust myself too much... Mikoto-san said I should quit trying to be a ninja, but I won't."

"You probably should."

I shot up, ignoring the ache in my muscles and stared incredulously at Shikamaru who had a serious expression.

"What?" I asked.

"You probably should, you can die from an anaphylactic shock. And exhaustion is easily reached when training, not to say what would happen in a real battle."

"But... if I increase my stamina I could be able to-!"

"Even if your stamina is very high you _will_ get exhausted eventually and what then? You'll keel over in the middle of a battle! And then you'll either die from the shock or an enemy will take pity on you and slit you throat!"

I was absolutely dumbfounded.

I knew his reasoning was logical but I still didn't want to give up.

"I'm still going to try, no matter what you say." I said quietly.

"But-!"

This time I interrupted him.

"Because it's the only way I can be useful, Shikamaru. I know it's stupid, I know it's selfish but I want to be important, I want to _matter..._I don't want to be a living shadow anymore."

My voice was soft and shaking slightly and I noticed tears in my eyes.

I stood up and left with a small wave and a mumbled "Bye".

_Yes, run from your problems, like you always have._


End file.
